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Letter To My 18 Year Old Self

Dear 18 year old self,

I’m writing to you as your 29-year-old self, who’s seen and experienced everything you still have to go through. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay.

You didn’t get into university for the medical degree you wanted, but that’s okay. There’s a reason why you got into marketing and you’ll definitely be able to use it in your 30’s, as you’ll take it further to study Social Media Marketing and work for yourself. You don’t know this yet, so I’m here to tell you to make the best of it!

You fell pregnant within your first year of college and now you’re lost and confused. You don’t know what your future holds but all you know is that you want to keep the baby and finish your studies. You should know what the consequences of this decision will be. It will be harder than you think. Listen to your mother when she tells you a baby is not like a library book which you can return when you’re done with it. Listen carefully, because your mother has been through it all. She’s experienced first hand what it’s like to be a single mother trying to raise children with minimum wage.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though, you’ll love your daughter more than anything else. Even though some days you’ll feel helpless and like a failure, you’ll be enough for her. When you’re my age, she’ll be 9. It will still be difficult but you’ll look back and acknowledge that you’ve made it this far, despite all the obstacles.

The relationship you’re in now will not kill you, it will make you stronger. You will have to endure a lot of emotional abuse, but just keep your eye on the goal. Get your qualification and move out.

He will attempt to ruin your life as far as he can when you leave, because he is a narcissist. This is okay because you’ll realize that it’s OKAY to be you. And it’s OKAY to be gay. You’ll have relationships with different women and every time you’ll find yourself starting over again. This one is too immature, and that one is unfaithful.

You’ll even marry a woman and divorce her because she turned out to be a drug addict. Even though you and your daughters lives are shattered and you’ll lose everything, you’ll still do it. Because you deserve more. Your daughter deserves more.

You’ll lose your father in a tragic accident. Shortly thereafter you’ll lose your mom to cancer. Keep your chin up, this will make you stronger. Mourn them, but let them go.

Only when you’ve endured all these things will you be where I am now. And you will know that everything turned out to be more than okay. You’ll be in a loving relationship with a woman who loves you and cherish you. You’ll be the happiest woman on this planet all because she saw you in darkness and brought you to the light. Your eyes will be opened to so many things and you’ll forget what it was like to have struggled all your life. You’ll forget what it was like to be emotionally abused and cheated on.

Your life will take a 360 degree turn and you won’t know what hit you.

Everything is going to be okay! Every time you encounter a bad situation, please refer back to this letter as a reminder of what your future holds. Don’t listen to society. Don’t try to prove a point to others because you’re scared of showing who you really are. You are enough. You are brave. You can face anything that comes your way. 

Keep your chin up, you’ve got this!

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