Love lasts, but it doesn’t last by itself.Love lasts, but not by itself.
It’s not magic. It lasts because we can make it last, because we keep putting in the work.
When browsing social media and the internet, there seems to be one particular thing that peaks a readers interest, and that is relationship advice and articles. The most common relationship-based questions on Google are things like:
- How can a relationship last?
- How to make a relationship last?
- What are the most important things in a relationship?
I decided to do a post on this topic based on both research and my own experience. I’ve been through quite a few relationships to support my statements. I’ve been married and divorced as well, and it took me 29 years to finally meet who I believe is my soulmate.
We all look for different things in a relationship, mostly influenced by where we are in our lives at this exact moment in time. Some of us are looking for marriage, while others are looking for fun. Some are not even looking for any type of relationship because they enjoy being by themselves. If you find yourself in either a committed relationship or marriage, you’re probably just looking for ways to make it last.
No relationship is guaranteed to last. No love is guaranteed to be stronger than any rough patches. Love is not enough, love needs work.. CONSTANT WORK. You need to work at love every day. If you fail, you need to reevaluate and try again. You need to be willing to go to war for your relationship, and you need to be willing to try everything in your power to save it, rather than to just give up. I’m by no means saying that this should be the case in circumstances of infidelity, domestic violence, substance abuse or emotional abuse. You are well within your right to leave at any time, regardless of what society says.
Ways To Work On Your Relationship On A Daily Basis
Do something special on a regular basis
It doesn’t have to be big.. You need to figure out what it is that makes your partner feel special, and make sure you do something special on a regular basis.
- Rub your partners feet
- Do the dishes
- Cook a meal for the two of you
- Take your partner out
- Leave a love note
- Pack a lunchbox for your partner
- Go for a drive together
- Sit down and show genuine interest in your partners day
- Ask your partner if there is anything you could help them with
- Tell your partner why you love him/her
These are every day things that you can do for your partner, and will show him/her that you really do appreciate your relationship even though things get busy from time to time. Show affection to your partner whenever you can.. whether it’s holding hands or just a kiss on the forehead every now and again!
Learn what pleases your partner sexually
Couples who have been together for a longer period of time, will stop prioritizing sex due to busy lifestyles, being too comfortable with one another, laziness or lack of willingness to work on the relationship because they think the relationship is perfect as is.
This is the biggest mistake you can ever make. The more you postpone sex, the lower your sex drive will become. You will start to feel like housemates more than partners. The lack of intimacy will make you used to not being intimate with your partner, to the point where it doesn’t even bother you anymore. This is a very big black hole for most relationships, and if you let it go too far, it could cost you your relationship at the end of the day. Once you get to that point, it’s very hard to get your relationship back on track.
A lot of people would say that love is enough, and I respect that – although I do feel that sexual health is of utmost importance in our relationships. It makes us feel extra safe and loved. This plays a vital role in our everyday lives and how we feel about ourselves.
If you’re in a loving relationship, you need to figure out what it is that your partner likes. Are there things that the both of you are willing to try? Any things that you would never try? Is there anything that they want to change when it comes to your sexual relationship? When asking someone why they were unfaithful, the most common answer will be that the persons partner did not listen to them. They did not try and make them feel special and attractive, and they did not put effort into satisfying the person emotionally or sexually.
Find out what your partner REALLY wants and needs, and build on that!
Self-Love is key if you want your relationship to last!!
Ask yourself this.. If you can’t find enough reason to love yourself, how do you expect others to find reasons to love you?
When we’re in a relationship, we tend to change. We change our views and opinions and often we learn new habits from our partners. A lot of the times this could be a good thing. It’s important to keep on growing and re-invent your personality and character. But never forget who you are! Take time out for yourself on a regular basis to really reflect on YOUR life. The best way to do this is to actually remove yourself from the house (if you stay together). Go somewhere peaceful like a park or the beach, and just sit there and think about who you’ve become, where you’re heading in life, your opinions and feelings, etc.
It’s important to spend some time apart from your partner.. and spend it with your friends and by yourself. Do something for yourself, by yourself. This will make you a calmer, happier person and remember, your vibe attracts your tribe!
Take care of your mental, physical and emotional health to be the best version of yourself for your partner. It’s okay to take some time out from your partner to spend the weekend alone and practice self-care! This will ensure a happy relationship for the both of you.
This one is much easier said than done, especially if trust has been broken!!
I don’t know about you, but once my trust has been broken, I can’t really get it back, no matter how hard the other person works to earn my trust again. I know that this is wrong, and it’s something I work on every day. Luckily, I’m in a relationship with someone who has never broken my trust, and I have faith that she won’t break my trust in the future.
I’m not going to say too much on this issue, as only your exact circumstances can determine where you are with your partner right now with regards to trust and trust issues.
All I can say is that where there is no trust, there is no hope for a relationship. A relationship cannot grow without it. Once your trust has been broken and you are struggling to build it back up, I suggest couples-therapy to assist you in this.
Always be honest with your partner, no matter how scared you are of your partners reaction. Even if it means you’ll hurt your partners feelings, honesty is the way to go at all times! Be honest about everything in your life, because a lie is bound to be revealed later of time, and will result in trust issues.
Communication is key in every relationship!!
Communication is not something that always comes naturally, and we all communicate in different ways. It’s important to identify communication issues in the early onset of the relationship already, in order for two people to work on their communication skills and thereby improving it to ensure optimum happiness in their relationship.
You need to work together to create solutions for any gaps in communication between you and your partner. Accept the things you cannot change in your partner, and try to get to a solution – instead of fighting about communication issues.
If you both have busy schedules, take 5 minutes out of your day to phone your partner to ask about their day. Take out another 10 minutes in the evenings to communicate and have a genuine, undisturbed conversation with your partner.
Remember that communication 60% listening and 40% talking. Listen to what your partner has to say. Listen, observe, and think before you raise your own opinion. Let them know that they can finish their story and that they don’t need to feel rushed. Give them a chance to say what’s on their mind before you jump in by responding.
9 Things that makes my relationship with my partner the best one ever!
- We show respect to one another
- We laugh often – including at ourselves
- We have each others’ backs, no matter what.
- We don’t go to bed angry and apologize when we’re wrong
- We trust each other completely
- We leave room for personal growth
- We forgive each other
- We speak up and communicate
- We compromise
I hope you enjoyed reading this post and that you’ve been inspired to work on your relationship on a daily basis. Love is all fun and games, until it becomes work.. and if you’re going to work on your relationship – even when it seems perfectly fine – you’re guaranteed to reach your couple goals!