Most of us would like to say that we’re in charge of our own lives. That our choices belong to us and that nothing and no one can tell us how to do things.
However, one problem that a lot of people run into is that they’re not then willing to accept the consequences of those choices. You might want to think that you’re in charge of your own life, but as soon as the time comes to acknowledge some kind of negative impact of the choices you make, a lot of people hide their heads in the sand. The truth is that doing that is just going to lead you to make worse and worse choices and make your life harder for yourself. With that in mind, here are some ways to tell if your choices are ruining your life.
You’re alienating people around you
Most of us would like to think of ourselves as good people. However, being a good person comes with a certain degree of responsibility that a lot of people don’t want to face up to. If you want to be a good person then the choices you make have to be for the benefit of more people than just yourself. Think about the people around you. If your choices are alienating them or making them miserable, that’s something that you have to address. Otherwise, you’re going to end up alone with no one to support you.
Maybe it would be a good idea to sit down and reflect on your social behaviour. How do I react in different situations? How do I treat people around me? How do I make them feel? Write down some negative characteristics you’d like to work on and work on them every day.
You feel constantly unfulfilled
There are plenty of things that you can do with your time that can make you feel fulfilled. What those are will often depend on the individual but it’s an all too common mistake to try and fill your life with things like drinks, drugs, sex, and parties, only to find yourself feeling empty. If that’s the case for you then it might be time to make some real changes. Things, like getting sober or talking to a sex therapist, might seem extreme to some people, but they can help you get onto the path of finding a more fulfilling way of living. You may find that it’s many of the simplest things in life that bring you the most joy.
Hapiness and a feeling of fulfillment lies not in your circumstances but in the way you embrace what you have. If you cannot get past this, list a few things that are making you unhappy and come up with small solutions to start solving your problems one by one, one step at a time.
You’re struggling to find purpose
There are few things worse than feeling as though you’re just spinning your wheels and going nowhere. A lack of purpose is pretty common among many people but if you’re not actively making the choice to try for things then you’re never going to be able to find that purpose. If you choose to spend all of your time waiting for your purpose to fall into your lap, you’re going to be waiting for a very, very long time.
It’s also important to remember that not everyone has one purpose or one calling. I’m one of those people, which is why I call myself a multipotentialite. It’s okay to sometimes feel like you don’t know what your purpose is. Don’t let it linger too long though, as you might get sucked into a hole of depression.
Now, one thing that it is essential to remember is the fact that, even if you recognise the damage your choices are causing, if you don’t do something about it, it’s basically pointless. The key is not to just feel bad about yourself for making the wrong choices. The key is to learn from those mistakes and work hard to be better as you move into the future. You will only ever be as happy as you decide to be. If you’re unhappy with something, change it. Not for others but for yourself.